Who is your Secret Keeper?

Often during an affair, there is fear, as well as a deep, sometimes subconscious, desire to be able to share your secret with someone.

Some of us find a trusted friend, others don’t have anyone they can tell. Some of us are cornered into confessing our secrets.

We just need to realise that in the end, the truth WILL come out.

It always does.

It could take weeks, or months and in some cases even years.

But the truth will always find a way out.

As I mentioned before, people love to gossip and to live vicariously through someone else’s drama. So finding a trusted friend is not easy.

Finding a secret keeper, a confidant, an ear who could even possibly understand the situation, is no easy task.

And then there is the added concern of what the actual intention is of our secret keeper.

Do they truly care?

Do they truly want to help?

Can they really be trusted?

The secret keeper can make you or break you. It’s a very fine line.

Some people really WANT to be your secret keeper.

Others become your secret keeper by mistake.

Then there is the secret keeper, AFTER the affair has been discovered.

And the most dangerous secret keeper is the wounded partner.

If the wounded partner wants to keep your affair a secret, be very, VERY careful.

On the surface you might think your partner is magnanimous, caring and loves you so much that they want to save the relationship, and that "nobody ever has to know what you have done."

You might THINK you are being given a Hail Mary, but you are basically giving away your power.

And the secret, and the shame and fear that comes along for the ride, can be crippling.

It can go on for years and years.

A weapon that is used over and over and over again to control you.

So who might your secret keeper be?

Why are they keeping it?

And what is this doing for you?