The Grey Area of Secrets

RAMBLING THOUGHTS INSIDE ANNIE’S CAVE

I remember being part of a team discussion many years ago. We were learning about personal values. What was considered to be right? What was considered to be wrong?

The team leader was being quite adamant in his views, saying that everything is either black or it’s white. And if you have good values, there should be no grey areas. This eventually led to a debate about lies and secrecy.

It was during this debate about secrecy and lies, that I eventually LOST MY SHIT.

The team leader was very charismatic, and people were hanging onto every word. And according to him, if you wanted to be seen as a good leader, it was simple:

It was either black, or it was white.

You either choose to have secrets or you don’t.

You either choose to lie or you don’t.

And this in turn made you either a good person or a bad person.

I could feel the hairs on my neck starting to stand up. And I knew there was no way I could just sit there, nodding my head in agreement, when everything inside of me was screaming: “BULLSHIT!”

I was younger than many of the others in the room, and I had been taught to respect my elders. I also knew from personal experience that characters like this man, do not like to be questioned.

So, I shut out the noise of the room, and got my creative wheels spinning inside my head. How could I demonstrate my point, while being respectful to the sheep nodding away in the room, and also not piss this chap off?

And before I knew it, my hand was raised. All eyes were on Annie. And I remember saying the following:

“Imagine if you knew that your neighbour Betty, was regularly beaten up by her husband.

Imagine if Betty had eventually plucked up the courage to run away from him as he started with his next rage.

Imagine if she came banging on your front door, begging you to hide her, and you let her in.

Now... imagine if shortly after, her husband came knocking at your door, with a friendly smile on his face, and he asked if you had seen Betty at all. What would each of you do?”

The room fell silent, so I continued:

“Well I would lie to his face! That’s what I would do.

Am I a bad person now?

Do my values suck now?

Would you accuse me of keeping secrets and telling a lie?

Is this a black or white situation? Or is it a little grey?

What would each of you have done in this situation?”

And then I excused myself from the room. I had nothing more to say. And my fuck it was great to see Mr Charismatic’s face, as I left the room, thinking to myself, “sort this one out now you asshole.”