There are always two sides to a story.

And in addition to this, when it comes to infidelity, woman are treated differently to men.

In general, when it comes to a betrayed wife, society feels sorry for her, and pities her. And then the shame begins. Clearly she wasn’t “keeping the home fires burning” or her husband would not have cheated. People can’t even look her in the eyes. And often her friends know about the affair before she does, which adds to the humiliation and shame that she starts to carry. She questions herself. What did she do wrong? And she has to worry how a divorce will affect her future and that of her children. It’s a heavy burden, and she feels all alone. Eventually her friends start to avoid her, because she is now a potential threat to their marriages.

Now when it comes to a betrayed husband, nobody questions whether he was “keeping the home fires burning.” People tell him the only reason a wife cheats is because she is a slut and can’t “behave” herself. His friends invite him out to cheer him up. They jokingly make plans to sort the “other chap” out. They offer to hook him up with other women, so that he can prove he is still “the man.” And often he doesn’t have the same concerns about his future as that of a woman in the same situation. SHE cheated, and he is going to punish her by giving her the worst divorce settlement he can.

Now let’s look at a mistress vs a man who has a relationship with a married woman. Firstly there isn’t even a name for the male version of a mistress.
The mistress is deemed a home wrecker, a vixen, who can’t keep her legs closed. A money hungry bitch who has no heart. She is labelled, and shamed, and completely shunned by EVERYBODY. She is this big secret that nobody wants to acknowledge, and once the affair comes to light, she is the object of gossip, sneers, and people looking down on her.
Now if a guy hooks up with a married woman, he is viewed as some sort of a hero. His mates slap him on the back and it’s a big fucking joke. Society isn’t gossiping about HIM, they are gossiping about the married woman who is having an affair! He doesn’t carry shame like a mistress. For him it’s a feather in his cap, and another notch on his belt. Woohoo! I scored a married woman! He’s not carrying a big secret, his married lover is.

And what about a woman who cheats on her husband? All hell breaks loose in her life. She is judged. She is damned, shunned and shamed. She often loses entire friend groups because this is so shocking. Women don’t do this type of thing!
When a man cheats on his wife, it’s a case of boys will be boys. Guys are known to do this kind of stuff. People get over it and soon forget the whole episode.

Why is it like this?

Why, in this day and age, does a woman still carry the brunt of an affair, regardless of which role she has played? Whether she took part knowingly or not, society doesn’t seem to care. And the whole world turns against her, banishes her, punishes her, sends her to a place of purgatory. She gets painted in a less than flattering light. She is ashamed and she is SHAMED! And sadly this treatment comes from both men and women alike.

Why do we tolerate this? It isn’t right. And I believe if we spoke more openly about infidelity, and actually got mistresses, and betrayed wives, and woman who have had affairs, to speak to each other, they would discover a whole lot more.