Who is holding your secret?

As I mentioned before, one of the things that keeps us locked in shame after an affair, is SECRECY.

As long as there are relationships, there will always be infidelity.

This is nothing new. It has been happening for centuries.

So I ask again, “Why the BIG SECRET?”

Infidelity is something that has been around for years and years, and it happens so often. It happens to anybody, from any walk of life.

So why doesn’t anyone want to talk about it openly?

Sure, we have the wounded partner who will speak up and tell us about their lousy partner and what they did to hurt them and destroy their trust. But to me that is just mudslinging talk.

When last did you hear anyone stand up (by CHOICE) and say:

“I cheated on my partner.”

“I had an affair.”

“I am having a relationship outside of my primary relationship.”

It’s not really something that comes up in the discussion while having a glass of wine.

Gossip? Yesssss!

But an honest debate about infidelity and what it has done to you and your family?

Clearly it’s not something that is discussed at a dinner table.

It’s just a big, fat ugly secret!

And for me, the secret was used to keep me in my place.

To isolate me, and to shame me into submission.

To turn my friends against me.

To try to have control over me.

So when you find yourself in ANY difficult situation, think about this:

Who is keeping YOUR secret?

Is it you?

Is it someone else?

And what is your secret being used for?

Think about it.

Think really hard.

You might come to some uncomfortable realisations and conclusions.