Do men gossip?

DO MEN GOSSIP?

Ladies… As promised… let’s talk about MEN and gossip.

There is definitely a difference between men and women when it comes to gossip.

Women love to gossip. We know this.

In fact, I DEFINITELY know this, as I have been on the receiving end of it enough times to know that it’s a fact.

It used to unsettle me, but as I’ve gotten older, yip, you guessed it…
I no longer give a fuck!

Now men, on the other hand, do not verbally gossip.

Don’t get me wrong, I did not say they DON’T gossip, I said they don’t VERBALLY gossip.

This is something they learned back in the Caveman days.

The women would stay home and talk amongst themselves for hours, while the men would go out for weeks hunting.

And with no men around, naturally all the women could talk about was… well, OTHER women.

So you see, this is not something new.
It is a behaviour handed down over many centuries.

Women talking TO women, ABOUT other women.
Which in our day and age is called GOSSIP.

While all this gossiping was going on back home, the men were out hunting.
And as any good hunter knows, one has to be quiet in order to sneak up on one’s prey.

They would spread out, and from a distance, they would communicate with each other, perhaps with a hand signal, or a wink, or a nod of the head, that sort of thing.

They did not need words in order to get their message across.

Occasionally they would grunt or mumble to get the others’ attention.

But speak, in full sentences? NEVER!

And guess what ladies?
They are still communicating like this, to this day!!

Yes chaps, I SEE you.
I know your language.
I grew up learning dude lingo.
I fucking speak it fluently!

(Note to self: maybe I should create a course for women, to learn dude lingo. Fuck that could be fun!)

So ladies, next time you are at a gathering, watch for the dude lingo signs. It’s actually a fun little game I like to play at socials.

Firstly, they stand around, beer in hand, just close enough to hear, but far away enough not to have to engage.

And that is how they pick up ALL the gossip from the women.
Yes, that is how they are informed!!!

And THEN they could be on opposite sides of a fucking room, they will look at each other, they smile, maybe nod, casually point their beer at “THE OTHER WOMAN” and mouth the words: “That’s the one.” And this is followed by a wink or some other fucking secret man code.

Effectively, not ONE word has been spoken between them, and yet ALL the guys will know EXACTLY what they are talking about!

Because each of the men, at any given time during the social, have been close enough (but far enough away, so as not to actually engage) while the women have been talking about THAT WOMAN.

It’s fucking brilliant!

So, I will be holding a Masterclass next week, to teach women the subtle art of DUDE LINGO.
Just kidding!!!

Relax dudes, your secrets are safe with me, ‘cos I actually understand the BRO CODE as well.

You all have an awesome weekend and enjoy the Rugby World Cup. And if you do not know what THAT is, I suggest you go back to your caves.

Sending love, light and laughter your way,
Annie