Losing yourself holding onto someone who doesn’t care

Every decision she had made over the past seven years, had always been discussed with him first.

He was her sounding board, her best friend, her lover.
So it was natural to want him to be part of her decision making.

This is what people in a relationship do. They chat and discuss big decisions that could affect both of their lives.

It was not a rule between them. There was no unwritten law stating they HAD to discuss things. It was a mutually understood thing.

They had never stated to each other that decisions had to be thrashed out first. That all angles needed to be checked, so that both could be happy with any decisions, and so that both of their feelings, inputs and fears would be taken into consideration.

When she wanted to buy a property, they discussed various options, and suitable areas, and how it would affect them.
Was it closer to work or not?
Was it closer to his place or not?
Should it have one bedroom or two?

When she was offered a promotion, they discussed various scenarios of how the promotion would affect them.
Would she be making more money or not?
Would there be perks like a company car?
Who would her new boss be, and was he a decent man to work for? Would she have to work longer hours or not?
Would her job involve travelling away from home for periods of time or not?

Yes, every decision she had made for the past seven years, had ALWAYS taken him into account.
She had always made sure he was included.
She had always taken his feelings into account.
She had always listened to his advice.
She had always respected it, if he had voiced any concerns about how any particular decision might well affect his life, and indeed their relationship.

He was her MAN.
And that’s what couples do.
It was normal… Until it wasn’t…

To this day, she still gets a lump in her throat, and tears in her eyes, when she thinks about that ONE decision he had made, without consulting her.

There was no discussion. There was no warning.
There was no way she could have know, because this was HIS decision, and she was not a part of it… AT ALL.

He had accepted a new position, at a new company, in a new region, far away. He and the “whole family” were relocating at the end of the month. The deal was done. The papers had been signed.

They would get a beautiful new home as part of the package. The kids would be enrolled in new schools. It was an offer he could not turn down. It was a perfect opportunity to start over.

But there was just one problem with his plan...
SHE was not a part of the “whole family”.
SHE was not his wife.
SHE was not a part of the new plan.

And he had not had the balls to raise it with her, until his plan had been signed, sealed and delivered.

She was in shock. She didn’t know what to say.

But he reassured her he had a plan.
It was a vague plan, he still had to cross a few hurdles, but he had a plan.
It would take a little longer, but he had a plan.
It would mean she would have to relocate as well, but he had a plan.
Yes, he had a vague plan, for HER life, that revolved around HIM.

The day he moved, she knew it wasn’t going to be easy.
She knew it was going to take time.
But it wouldn’t always be like this.
Their time together WOULD come.
He had a plan, she just had to be patient.

And she believed this…Cos he told her so.

So she sat waiting. She sat hoping. She put her life on hold…
And it sucked!
~~~
SYouFu – So You Fucked Up … You are in love with a married man… But you know it’s time. You can no longer keep waiting, hoping he will make a proper plan. It is not fair on you. He has had long enough now, and it is breaking your heart and your spirit, and fucking with your mind.