SHAME - Part 3

Never in a million years could she have imagined the opprobrium in the wake of an affair!

Hers was not the first affair in the world, nor would it be the last.

Her father had been known to have the odd affair.

Her cousin had cheated on his wife.

Two of her brother’s best mates had mistresses.

Her friends who travelled spoke to her about the women they met and secretly kept seeing long after they returned home to their wives.

It was nothing new. So why was her infidelity so different? Why was she being scorned at every turn. Why were her friends avoiding her. Why could people no longer look her in the eye? Why? Why?

And as if by magic a little voice whispered into her ear:

“It’s not the same, that’s why.”

It’s not the same? What does that mean? What is not the same?

The voice grew louder, and the thought kept swirling around in her mind. “What is not the same?” The affair?

Of course it’s the same! She had cheated, like all the other guys had, so… oh… Oh… OH! The realisation hit her like a ton of bricks!

SHE had cheated! SHE had done this! SHE! A woman! Not a man. SHE was not a man. SHE should have known better. SHE should have controlled her lust for another. SHE should never have had an affair. SHE was a mother, how could SHE have behaved in such a way. A flood of emotion engulfed her as it all sank in.

She was now carrying DOUBLE SHAME!

She had let her sisterhood down. Women just don’t behave this way.

Guys do this, not women.

Certainly not mothers!!!

What on earth was SHE thinking at the time. Did she really think she could get away with it? Did she even care if she could get away with it? Did she even THINK? My gosh! She has children. What the heck was she doing? What kind of an example was she being to her children?

The shame stung! Deep, anguishing, gut-wrenching shame!

What have I done?