Sometimes I am just a stranger to you

The relationship is not a simple one.

So many roles to play, and it all depends on where you both are, and in whose company you are.

Perhaps you have met him through a circle of friends, or through work. In those situations, when you are in the same room, he will simply treat you like everyone else in the room.

You are just another friend in the circle. Or just another colleague in the office. Or just another person at the sports club, having drinks after a match.

You are no more or no less important than anyone else in THAT room.
You have to play the part.
No long lingering looks.
No touching of hands.
No winking.
No smiling for no reason, or laughing louder at his jokes than others are.

You have to know your place.
You are JUST HIS FRIEND.


Then there are times when you are all alone together, and you feel like you are the only person he has eyes for.

This is mostly when you are completely alone, or if he has snuck you off to some secret location for a weekend away.

A place and time when you can have a tiny little bit of normalcy.

Nobody else watching.
Not having to care about who is going to see, or who is going to say something.

It is a blissful, peaceful space, and you know your place…
You are HIS EVERYTHING!


And the worst times are when you accidently bump into him with his family at a mall, or if you end up with your girlfriends at the same restaurant where he is out with his wife and her friends.

You have to watch him, acting normal, like he is part of this beautiful dream marriage, with his beautiful wife, and his awesome children, and they live happily together in a lovely home.

You have to swallow hard when his wife reaches across and wipes some crumbs off his chin, or when he stands up and helps her out of her chair, and caringly puts her jacket over her shoulders because she is cold.

Cold… You know how THAT feels, as you watch this façade in front of you.

You want to scream out:
“It’s all a lie. He loves me! He wants to be with me! Why won’t you just let him go? Why are you making it so hard for him to leave?”

But you know your place, and in this situation, you are a COMPLETE STRANGER to him.

He won’t even look in your direction.
He will walk straight past your table, and pretend not to see you.


And if you want him in your life, you will stay in your place… he has made that quite clear.

He doesn’t want to hurt his wife, and he will leave when it is the right time, and when he is ready.

You know he WILL, because he has told you so…
He has promised you…
It’s only a matter of time…

And so the charade continues…
And it sucks!

~~~
SYouFu – So You Fucked Up … You are in love with a married man…

But you know it’s time. You can no longer keep up this charade.
He has had long enough now, and it is breaking your heart and your spirit, and completely fucking with your head.

Let’s figure this out together and stop the charade.