Stop Bullshitting yourself

“There is just no way I can go on a vacation. I am just so busy, and I can’t afford the time away, and who will look after my cat? And besides, most of my friends are into hiking long distances, when I just want to chill in the sun and read a book. And then I will feel lazy and guilty if I sit and chill while they all go out hiking or surfing or whatever. No, I just won’t be able to join my friends on a vacation this year. Nope, not gonna happen. Just NOT GONNA BE POSSIBLE.”

I could see her lips moving.
I could hear the ramble of words falling from her mouth.
I could feel the anxiety in the ether between us.
I could almost smell the rubber starting to burn as the wheels inside her head started whirring around, looking for yet another reason, another excuse, as to why she could not go on vacation with her mates.

So, I reached out gently (metaphorically speaking of course, cos she was inside my fucking laptop screen), and tried to soothe her with my calm voice.

I told her to take a deep breath, looked her straight in the eyes, and said:

“You need to stop talking shit to yourself! You have done nothing but try to convince yourself why you CAN’T go. And you and I both know that your excuses are lame. So how about we take a few steps back, and try and really figure out why you believe you can’t go on this vacation.”

After a short, startled silence, she burst into tears, and the whole story starting coming out.

Now we were getting somewhere.
Now we were touching on the REAL issue.
Now she was allowing herself to let go of what was REALLY in her heart.
What was REALLY holding her back.
What was causing her so much STRESS, that she had made herself believe a vacation was not for her.

Yes, she was finally getting some clarity, from the jumbled mess in her mind, and now it all started to make sense to her.

And the more she spoke, the more she started realising about her situation, and the REAL reason, that was holding her back from enjoying so many things that a woman of her age SHOULD have been enjoying.

It was like a light had been switched on, and a weight had been lifted. Now she could start figuring out her next moves.

I KNOW she slept well that night, because she told me, and my heart was happy for her.